Thank you ❤️ Attaching to potential instead of reality is such a quiet trap because it feels hopeful while it’s happening. But once we can name it, we can start choosing ourselves with more honesty.
This piece has so much in it, I loved reading it. It really made me think, relationships are so complicated, and it can be so hard to look at ourselves honestly within them. I love having a new lens to look through.
Thank you so much for reading it with this much care. That “new lens” piece means a lot because that’s really what I hoped this would offer. Relationships are complicated, but sometimes having a clearer way to look at the pattern helps us be more honest with ourselves without shaming ourselves for what we didn’t see sooner. 💗
Exactly!! Seeing the pattern takes time, and shame only makes it harder to look clearly. I think there’s so much power in being honest about what we didn’t see without punishing ourselves for surviving it. 💅
“A woman can be loyal and still be abandoning herself.”
That line hit hard.
One thing I’ve been realizing lately is that self-abandonment often begins long before we leave the relationship. Sometimes it starts the moment our attention begins orbiting someone else’s needs, moods, potential, or approval more than our own.
I loved your point that understanding someone doesn’t automatically mean staying. Compassion and compatibility aren’t the same thing.
Thank you so much. That distinction took me a long time to learn, and honestly, I think it changes everything once it clicks. Love can explain why we care, but it can’t be the only reason we stay.
Wow! On a serious note! This article is such a great read. I love the long list of reference. It’s like: here you go, I’m not the only one saying it. It’s a great advice .
Thank you so much. That’s exactly why I wanted the references in there. Sometimes we need the reminder that this isn’t just a feeling or one person’s opinion. There are real patterns underneath what so many women experience!
you made some amazing points. I’m definitely guilty of attaching myself to potential instead of reality. This is a great wake up call for women! ❤️
Thank you ❤️ Attaching to potential instead of reality is such a quiet trap because it feels hopeful while it’s happening. But once we can name it, we can start choosing ourselves with more honesty.
This piece has so much in it, I loved reading it. It really made me think, relationships are so complicated, and it can be so hard to look at ourselves honestly within them. I love having a new lens to look through.
Thank you so much for reading it with this much care. That “new lens” piece means a lot because that’s really what I hoped this would offer. Relationships are complicated, but sometimes having a clearer way to look at the pattern helps us be more honest with ourselves without shaming ourselves for what we didn’t see sooner. 💗
Yes. And I love that. It takes time to see patterns, there's no avoiding that. And ideally, no shame in it either.
Exactly!! Seeing the pattern takes time, and shame only makes it harder to look clearly. I think there’s so much power in being honest about what we didn’t see without punishing ourselves for surviving it. 💅
A big (non-religious) AMEN to this.
Girl, you came with receipts! I think this the first Substack post I’ve seen with references. Will keep this all in mind if I ever choose to date
“A woman can be loyal and still be abandoning herself.”
That line hit hard.
One thing I’ve been realizing lately is that self-abandonment often begins long before we leave the relationship. Sometimes it starts the moment our attention begins orbiting someone else’s needs, moods, potential, or approval more than our own.
I loved your point that understanding someone doesn’t automatically mean staying. Compassion and compatibility aren’t the same thing.
Really powerful piece.
Thank you so much. That distinction took me a long time to learn, and honestly, I think it changes everything once it clicks. Love can explain why we care, but it can’t be the only reason we stay.
Wow! On a serious note! This article is such a great read. I love the long list of reference. It’s like: here you go, I’m not the only one saying it. It’s a great advice .
Thank you so much. That’s exactly why I wanted the references in there. Sometimes we need the reminder that this isn’t just a feeling or one person’s opinion. There are real patterns underneath what so many women experience!